The Question of Moving Out

Okay so, the Family Drama has continued and escaladed into such a confusing mess that I'm completly lost at what to do.

I went to the apartment with The Parents on Sunday to sign the lease. They liked it, but they measured the room and there's no way that I can possibly fit half of my furniture into the room. Bye bye Queen Bed. I couldn't even fit a double. Could I manage with a single? I also can't fit my dresser with the mirror. So basically, I would have to buy a single bed, and I would only have the man's dresser and two nightstands. Please take into consideration that I work at a boutique and have, currently, an entire closet + a man's bureau + the vanity table with mirror + two night stands filled with clothes. They started to really freak me out with the size of the apartment, saying none of my clothes would fit and asking questions like, where would I study etc. Also, they kept saying how the price was high (550$ a month, heating/electricity/hot water/internet included) considering that I would be out most of the time at school and at work. But I was stubborn.

We went into the kitchen to look at the lease and I was about to sign but The Parents kept asking questions so The Sister called her dad. He kinda started to freak out and then insisted on seeing the lease before anything was signed. So we left and she told me she would call me when it was ready.

IS THAT NOT A SIGN?

Honestly, is that not a sign? I'm a big believer in Fate and Signs and all that mambo jumbo lol. This is clearly a sign no?

Anyways, The Parents have just told me that The Evil Twin has two weeks to find an apartment, and he is for sure moving out. Part of me so wants to believe that, but another part of me is like, yeah okay! How many times have I heard that? But seeing as it's causing major drama between my parents, and my mother has left this week to go to my uncles, I think its legit. They've told me that they do not want me to move out because it'll put pressure of me for school, and I'll be crammed in a much smaller room than I have now and there's no real place for me to do my studying. They even said (since I got transferred downtown) that they would pick me up after work. They think I should save the money I would potentially give for rent and get a car (like that idea).

Now, part of me is like super relieved because I was kinda terrified of moving out on my own. I was partly excited too but then I kept thinking about all the bills, and studying I have to do if I want to get into the Honours Program at McGill, plus I have a shopping addiction and would have to give up a lot of luxuries. I mean, I guess it is possible but I've always said that I wouldn't move out until I at least have my BA if not my MA. Also, (and no, I'm not spoiled) but there are so many things that everyone who lives at home takes for granted. For example, my parents still do my laundry. They make sure we have soap, and shampoo and toothpaste. They stuff our pantries with food, buy me my birth control pills and do so many other stupid little every day things that I can't even think of. It's such a huge responsability to take on, and I'm starting University.

On the other hand, I already made all my plans to move out. I got transferred downtown, I worked out my schedule so I could work more hours, and I told The Sister yes. The last part is what really freaks me out! How am I supposed to call her and tell her, no sorry? IT'S THE FOOTBALL PLAYER'S SISTER!! Sigh.

I went to the gym for a couple of hours and really thought about it and decided that part of the reason why I was moving in was mainly because of The Football Player. I couldn't really base my entire future on the idea that he could potentially notice me. I guess it was some way of me holding on to him when I know that once school starts, and we're in different areas, we're never going to see each other. Thinking about the appartment, it is really expensive for what it offers and I could find (and did) so many others that were not only cheaper, but more convenient for my needs. And to be honest, now that The Evil Twin is moving out, I don't want to. It's really scary being a grown up! I mean, I've had to act like the mature adult in my family because of all the drama, but being completly independent (and alone) is so terrifying! But so is calling The Sister.

Sigh.

I called her anyways and it was so incredibly awkward. I kinda raced through something the lines of, I went home with the measurements of the room and realized that there was no way I would be able to fit half of my stuff inside and it's just really not convenient or manageable for me to live in that size of a room. I'm very sorry and I hope you find someone soon. It was rather awkward, and I couldn't wait to get off the phone! I felt so incredibly guilty but she was as nice as she could be. Sigh.

So, now I'm not moving out. I'm potentially getting a car. Oh, and since I don't have to pay the 550$ september rent, I'm going to New York. Yay!